# 88 Public Enemy # 1

It was bound to happen. Everyone who knows me knows how many enemies I have. Stacks of them. Most people generally hate me. But people generally like Parker, so it evens out. Well, not anymore. Parker and I officially have out first enemy here in Cleveland.

When I moved in to this house, my landlady, Debbie, told me all about my next-door neighbor, who was a retired professor from Delta State and she said when she lived in the house, she spent many a night, sitting on his porch, talking with him-- that he was interesting, and well-read and collected art and was a great neighbor. She also said he liked dogs, which was good since she had two dogs while she lived here.

Now, obviously, I've not met a whole lot of people here yet (though I'm lucky that the ones I have meet have been super nice and super friendly!), but I was really looking forward to meeting this guy. I had dreams of discussing politics and Faulkner over plates of brownies I'd baked (yeah, that should have been a warning right there! I don't bake!) and he'd be a great neighbor and he'd think I was a great neighbor. As part of my hopes and dreams, I'd been noticing whenever he was outside and I'd try to walk slowly to my car or to the door, so that we'd have a chance to speak. He's never spoken, or even waved at me thus far, but I have enough faith in my general charmingness that I just knew, if he met me, we'd be great neighbors. Debbie even said, more than once, that she thought he'd really like me.

Well, he doesn't.

This afternoon, after I got home from work (my first official day! Yay!), I let Parker out in the backyard, where she did both "jobs". I changed clothes and grabbed my ipod and we headed out to walk to the park since she'd been cooped up inside all day. We walk outside, and I stop, while standing in my yard, on the sidewalk, to untangle my ipod cord, and I then realize, too late, that Parker has stopped in his yard, and is going to the bathroom. No. 2. She does it in just a second, which is unusual-- typically, she walks around sniffing for a while and I can tell she is about to do it, so I can drag her somewhere else if its a bad place. Well, this happened so quickly, I had no time to react, and I tried to pull her, but she'd already done it. It was over in like 10 seconds. So fast.

But apparently, not fast enough to get past Mr. Professor. Yep, before she was even done, and while I was both fussing at her and dragging her through the yard, while she was still half-bent over, he yanks open the door and steps outside onto the porch, in a t-shirt and boxers and yells at me "Don't ever let that dog into my yard again. I better not see him again."

I'm mortified and immediately feel my chest get tight and I get nervous and I say, "Oh, I am so so very sorry, I'm so sorry, it happened so quickly and I'm so sorry, it won't happen again", and before I can even finish this sentence, he screams "You should be keeping him on the sidewalk-- you can drag him on the leash, but don't ever let him in my yard again." He then slams the door.

It was awful. I was sick to my stomach. I was nearly in tears. I mean, I'm sure that its not nice to have random dogs going to the bathroom in your yard, but there are a lot of dogs in this area and I've seen them walking, with their owners, obviously (!), up and down this street all the time. Plus, I saw another, larger area of you-know-what, not far from where Parker had been. Further, she had just gone to the bathroom, and therefore, I didn't really expect her to go again within 5 minutes, so I wasn't paying attention. And, Parker has never been in his yard-- not once, I don't believe, since we got here-- going to the bathroom or even sniffing around. I've purposely kept her out of his yard, just to be polite.

Anyway, the whole situation was awful and everyone knows how badly I hate for people to not like me, so this is a huge test of my new "happy life" wherein I don't worry about stuff like that. I'm failing this test, cause I'm really upset about the whole thing. I was nearly in tears my entire walk, and I cut the walk short so that we could walk back past his house and I could keep Parker on the sidewalk and he would see that I "take directions well".

Once we got back home, I went over there with a baggie and picked it up. I also picked up the other dog stuff that wasn't my dogs. See, aren't I a really nice neighbor? I'm super sad about the whole thing.