# 118 Reaching out of the comfort zone...

In an effort to "find myself", "love myself", "conquer my issues", etc., I'm trying to reach out and do things I don't normally do. I mean, besides the obvious of closing my law practice, packing my belongings, starting a new job and moving 4 hours away from my family to a town where I don't know anyone! But on a smaller level, I'm trying to make smaller changes in my life and branching out of the way I've always done things. For example, I almost always eat the same thing at any restaurant. I try something the first time, and if I like it, that will be my go-to meal from then on. I rarely will try anything new, or at most, I will pick between two different things, but never try anything else. I will think about trying something else. I will sit down at the table with every intention of trying something different. I will ask the people with whom I am dining what they eat or recommend. I will peruse the menu and try to narrow down my choices. Sometimes I will even ask the what what he recommends. But inevitably, when it comes time to actually order, I will get so flustered about not having made a decision and so worried about making a wrong decision that my hands get sweaty and my heart starts racing and I'm concerned about not liking what I've just paid to eat, that I will impulsively order the same thing I always get. This used to happen a lot. Now, I just accept this as part of who I am and don't even bother to pretend I'm going to order something different.

But I'm trying to branch out. Become more well-rounded. Love myself. Listen to Oprah. Yadda yadda yadda. So, I've challenged myself to eat something different everytime I eat at my new favorite restaurant-- Hey Joe's, here in Cleveland:

I've been several times, including my first trip to Cleveland back in February. Whenever anyone has come to visit, its the first place we've eaten, and I believe everyone has liked it thus far. I have made a concerted effort to order something different each time I've eaten there. And only once have I panicked and ordered my old standby, the hummus. Thus far, I've eaten a Caesar chicken wrap, nachos, hot dog, Hawaiian burger, gyro, and cheesesticks. I am so proud of myself!!

However, in other areas of my "self-enlightenment", I've failed miserably. Like today, for instance.

I don't like my food to touch on the plate. I think its yucky. Some foods are ok to be eaten together, like a roll and gravy. But, putting a roll near butterbeans or rice and gravy next to corn--- GROSS!! In the same vein, I eat one food at a time. I don't bother with the whole, "a couple bites of this, a bite of that, piece of cornbread, another bite of this" philosophy. I've done this since I was kid. My Aunt Ju does the same thing. I believe my brother has started doing this same thing. But today at lunch, buoyed by my exciting triumph with the Caesar chicken wrap at Hey Joe's last night, I got a wild hair and decided to eat my food NOT one type of food at a time, but instead, mixing it all up. Since it was Cinco de Mayo, the Clarksdale hospital across the street from my office had a Mexican-fiesta themed lunch. I headed over there and got some chicken enchilada casserole (which was fabulous!), refried beans and green beans with a roll.

Readers, I tried. I really did. I ate a couple bites of the casserole and then ate the entire roll before I remembered my experiment. I adjusted my focus and tried a couple bites of the green beans. It wasn't pretty. The tastes of the green beans mingled with the casserole I'd just eaten. It was awful. I tried to switch gears and eat some beans. Just as bad. I had to give up. There is a reason I don't eat the food all mixed up-- when the flavors get all intertwined, it is awful. Food was meant to be eaten alone, not all mixed up. Don't even get me started about those people who literally stir up all their foods sometimes. Disgusting. I'm going back to my regular, normal eating habits. So, when you come visit me, we will go to Hey Joe's and I will order something I've never had. But I will eat it, one food at a time.