# 168 Honesty is the best policy...

Readers, I once made a vow never to lie to you.  Well, it wasn't so much a vow as a promise.  It really wasn't a promise but a thought.  Actually, it never occurred to me, before now, to lie to you or not to lie to you.  But, now that the thought has occurred to me, I've decided to take the road less traveled and NOT lie to you.  Not even omit something from you. 

I have a problem.  I pretty big problem.  I'm down on my back, literally, and I've been given a whole lot of different medication to help with me pain.  Most of it has not helped.  I alluded to the medicinal effects in my previous posts about going to Pickwick.  But, its gotten worse.  I spent all day in one of Cleveland's finest doctor's offices' yesterday and I went home with a lighter wallet, a bag full of medicine and a pain in my back.  Literally. 

This is when the night took a dark, dark turn.  I didn't eat dinner, but instead ate a big ole helping of Ben and Jerry's Americone Dream ice cream (totally the best.  Don't bother arguing.)  I watched a couple episodes of my new favorite show, Eureka (totally funny.  Don't bother making fun of me.  If you are reading this blog, you know my penchant for random sci-fi tv shows and you obviously still love me, so you are wasting your breath!).  I took my medicine.  Then things went from normal, to, well... ugly.  I'm not going to lie.  I'm going to keep this blog as an open, honest channel of communication, so I will tell you exactly what happened. 

Earlier that evening I had been text messaging my friend Katie (about her blog).  Actually, it will be easier to type, word-for-word, what happened. 

ME:  Ok next time I come over for anyreaspnsi I eill be.  Bringning sal ny meds$
ME:  It so fun cause I'm rerally high.  I wabt everyone to getinvolved with my legal drugs-  I don't know wjat I'm talking about. 

KATIE:  I am laughing at you right now! (Blogger's note-- she's just saying that, Katie would NEVER laugh at me.)


ME: Everythung is growing around me and its hard to explain, its all my drugs theyv e given me.

KATIE:  Are you okay???  (Blogger's Note:  See, even in friendship, concern comes before comedy!)

ME:  Yes I think I am fine- I think the many meds I have been on thiw week have finally caust up with me I feel loosy goosy.  Need to go to sleep!

KATIE:  Okay.  Nighty night. 

ME:  Ok! When I get off meds I will be normal again (Blogger's Note: "normal" being a relative term)!  Great weekend thoigh woth you girls!

KATIE:  Yes indeed!

Dear readers, this wasn't my finest moment.  Not even close.  It wasn't even in the top half of my finest moments.  Unfortunately for me, it also wasn't my most loser-ish moment either.  Another story for another day...

Fortunately for you all, the fun didn't stop there.  No, I was just getting warmed up.  Right before I dozed off to sleep, I had this conversation with my sweet sister, Betsy.  We had been just discussing how awesome of a sister I was, and how lucky she was to have me (at least, that's my recollection). 

Betsy:  Love u.  How do u feel, druggy? (Blogger's Side Note:  to be clear, I have a legal doctor's prescription for all the medicines I've taken!)

ME:  I feel drugg s

Bets:  Hahaha.  Ur crazy.

ME:  I feel high$o I don't knoe wheere u ansuppopsgtbe

Bets:  omggggg.

ME:  This medicine is making things uoiz"l

Bets: You are so funny.

ME:  I should stop messaging to others till I quit taking ambient.

Bets:  Yes yes

ME:  I a not able to see straiught$ I think I'm in a big college room with everyone including u.  But then I have to leave and find peipele who don't have frirnds$$

ME:  Did someone steal my bbm [blackberry messenger].  It makes no sense.  I don't know if I wrorte it on there or nor.  Love u betsy!  Its the meds!

Bets:  Omg!!
Bets:  You're sooo funny.  Please don't take any while u drive.  I love u sissy.

Me:  I won't!  Its only nighttime.  I cannot beieve I am likle this way-- everything is werid!!!



Oh wow, readers, I've literally made myself cry reading these as I've typed.  I hope you are happy.  I'd like to point out a few things. 

First, it makes me happy that both Katherine and Betsy were concerned for my well-being while at the same time laughing at me.  That's the way it should be-- make sure I'm ok, then laugh cause its hilarious!  I also appreciate that Betsy warned me not to drive!

Second, I'm a terrible typist.  Or am I?  Perhaps that is exactly what I meant?  Maybe I meant "werid", as some sort of existential new-age grammatical change to show the meaning of the world "weird"-- after all, its "weird" that I cannot spell "weird", right?  Wow, I amaze myself sometimes. 

Third, I am a really nice person.  Even in the middle of my medical high, I was worried about all those people in the big college room that didn't have friends and I wanted to go make friends with them.  I mean, really, how many people can say they are so super nice, even in their medicinally-caused hallucinations??!! 

Next, I'm just glad that I didn't text anyone else.  When I woke up this morning, and the medicine had worn off, I reread the messages and nearly made myself sick laughing.  There couldn't be two better people to have sent these too!  Betsy and Katie love me, high or not!!  And they were both very nice this morning when I apologized for my messages (after they finished laughing and wiping the tears from their eyes). 

And finally, I will just say this-- its a very good thing that I didn't drink any DC's before bedtime-- we all know how those affect me-- diet cokes + Ambien?  Not a good thing!!

Now, I must get off this computer.  Its time to take my medicine, and I've got a few calls to make...