Evan for President...

So, I've gotten some, um, interesting feedback on my neighbor Evan, and most everyone seems to agree that Evan is pretty high. All the time. My neighbors seem to agree-- Mrs. Faye, who lives a couple houses down (and is the mom of Bentley, who is a Pomeranian dog who we like to call Parker's boyfriend!) said she's had contact with Evan as well, and in her words, he probably "has a problem with drugs". Apparently, he has hit his next door neighbors vehicle TWICE in the last couple months. The first time he paid for the damage but the second time he never admitted it was him. They think he's a nut. They are probably right.

This afternoon, Parker and I are walking and we turn out of our driveway onto the street and we see Evan. Parking his vehicle on the street. It takes him a while but luckily no one was near enough for him to hit. Parker and I attempt to walk vvvveeeerrrryyyyyy slowly so we can avoid him, but he waits in the car until we get out.

"Hi, Jess!"

"Hi, Evan. How's it going?"

"Well I just stopped a car burglary at Burger King while I was getting my food!" (shows BK bag)

"Wow. That's, um, interesting. What happened?"

"Well, I pulled up and noticed this black guy. With a black shirt on, and he had a jimmy and he was trying to jimmy open the lock in this Purple Honda CRV. So, I went in to order my cheeseburgers (holds up bag as proof) and I tell the person taking my order. It was his vehicle! So, the burglar runs away, but then he comes back and they call the police and they caught him!"

"Wow. Its a good thing you happened to drive up! Sorta scary, isn't it?"

"Yes! But now I'm going to eat my cheeseburgers! See ya later, Jess."

"Bye, Evan. Enjoy your cheeseburgers."

I'm not making this up. I think we all know Laurel is a bit safer with Evan out there. I know I feel safer. And I'll feel even better when he gets his law degree from State and starts putting those Burger King criminals behind bars.