# 58 blah blah, yada yada

Sometimes its nice to be around family because they love you unconditionally. Or usually, they love you conditionally, but they have to love you and cannot get away from you, so they forgive you when you mess up and don't meet their conditions and life goes on. Its complicated. But, they let you mess up and help you pick up the pieces and they just make you laugh and make you cry and get on your nerves, but you love them all the same and you'll never be anything without them in your life. Also, its nice to have family because sometimes they call you out on your crap. They point out your issues (sometimes nicely, sometimes not so nice) and they do it in a loving, kind way. Usually.

Recently, I was called out by a family member, and this blog is to rectify my slight. It wasn't intentional, but it was a slight, nonetheless. As you know, my FAQ's last week garnered lots of attention, both local and, probably, state-wide. And one comment in particular, hit home. Mostly because I was actually at home when my mom called me and told me to read it and I did. But it hit home nonetheless.

Here is the comment:

This is pure gold. Very funny. However, I am a bit perplexed as to why you haven't discussed me yet. Leaving home yada yada leaving family blah blah. Yet, you are now near an hour from me. We can meet in Batesville to go to Grizzlies games and you can visit often and so can I. And dad has somewhere to stay until May. No mention of all of this. Nicholas

Nicholas, you are absolutely right! I have focused so much on what I'm leaving that I failed to see what I'm gaining! I'm so super excited to get to see my brother more often and to be so close to him in Oxford! It really is probably one of the best things about the move! Nicholas and I are very close-- I'm lucky to have him as a brother. I'm lucky to have both of my siblings, but my Betsy is a post for another day. A long post. But Nick and I get along really well, and I can remember joking about how Nick was my best friend, if a twenty-something year old could be best friends with a elementary/junior/high schooler! It was true-- we are a lot alike in a lot of ways.

Nick and I have a lot of fun together-- obviously, like everyone in my family, we have the same sense of humor and it makes me happy when I hear or see something funny and he does as well and we can laugh about it! When we went to the mountains this year for Christmas, Nick was lucky (or unlucky) enough to get to ride with me and Parker and we had a great time listening to random songs and laughing at the stupid lyrics. Nicholas loves Ole Miss sports and I love getting to see him really in his element of going to ball games (he's not picky about the sport either-- he'll hit up a girls soccer match if he can!) and I'm really excited about being able to bring Parker over and head to a game with him! I'm lucky he's willing to hang out with his nerdy older sister. When he was growing up, we did all sorts of things together and I waited on the day that he'd decide that he was too cool to hang out with me, but that day never really came-- of course, I don't get to see him all that much, but thats just cause we are all so busy, not because he thinks I'm a loser. At least, I don't think so!

We like to tease mom that Nicholas is "the baby" of the family and he's spoiled rotten. And he is. But, for someone spoiled rotten, he's surprisingly smart and self-aware and kind and generous. Usually! My favorite story of how Nicholas is the favorite happened a couple years ago-- I was super sick during 2008 summer and everyone had threatened to take me to the doctor or the ER to get me well, but, as someone with no insurance, I'd resisted. I felt it was mostly stress-related sickness and I was right. Anyway, Nick and I went to Hattiesburg to see a movie (Chronicles of Narnia-- we love going to see movies!) and we ate beforehand. Of course, I didn't eat all that much (hibachi-- Nick's fav-- he can put away ridiculous amounts of rice. Its really amazing.) but I still go sick. Nick had threatened that if I got sick while we were eating, he wasn't going to threaten to take me to the doctor, he was going to actually do it immediately. However, once I got sick, he changed the "immediately" to "after the movie" which was fine because I figured he'd forget. Well, by the time the movie was over, I was extremely weak and felt even worse, so we headed back to Laurel to the ER. On the way home, I tried to call mom on my cell and she didn't answer. I tried calling several times. No answer. The entire 30 minute drive home. No answer. So, finally, after the 6th call, Nicholas gives me his phone and says to call her on his phone, that maybe she'll answer. I was incensed that he would think she'd answer his call and not mine, but I called anyway. She picked up on the second ring.

Yeah mom, don't try to deny this. She "said" she couldn't get to the phone when I'd called. Every single time. Right.

Here are a few of the pictures I have of Nicholas on my computer, so they are a random assortment.

Nicholas and I at his high school graduation! Sweetest boy!

Nicholas and his roommate Dillon in the Grove-- love Dillon. He's a funny guy and he puts up with Nicholas as a roommate, which I can only imagine isn't always fun. Plus, these two boys have possibly the cleanest dorm room I've ever seen. For two guys.

Nick and Betsy in the Grove

Sweetest boy and sweetest girl. I'm not sure who is more spoiled.

# 55 Home Sweet Home...

So has everyone recovered from yesterday's BIG ANNOUNCEMENT? I do hope so.

I know there are lots of questions in your minds right now, so I will be doing my best to answer them today.

Jessica, when will you be moving?

That's an excellent question. I don't know.

Jessica, can you expand on the previous answer?

Yes. I really don't know. But, I think it will be sometime the second week of March. I've signed a lease beginning March 1, so I can move anytime, but I think somewhere around the 14-18, I will be moving.

Jessica, I love moving. Can I help you move?

Yes, you can. I can use help moving or packing, if you'd prefer less work. I would greatly appreciate it and will show my appreciation by buying you dinner and/or allowing you to "guest blog" on here.

Jessica, you have a LOT of stuff. A LOT. Ridiculous amounts of stuff. Will you be taking it all with you?

No. If you are concerned about helping me move because of the sheer amount of stuff, you need worry no longer. I am having a huge rummage sale March 5, so I will be hopefully selling lots of my stuff and all that is left will be taken immediately to the Salvation Army.

Jessica, where will you be living?

I'm glad you asked. I will be living at 304 Victoria Street in Cleveland, MS. Here is a picture of the house:

Jessica, I've heard that the Delta is kinda awful. Thoughts?

Yes, I've heard this too. I've also heard that lots of people absolutely love it. It seems as though you either LOVE it or you HATE it, and there is no in between (kinda like Lady Gaga). I've decided I'm going to love it.

Jessica, what is the difference between Cleveland and Clarksdale?

About 30 minutes. Also, a whole lot. Cleveland is a super cute town, with fun places to eat, shop, an adorable downtown area, Delta State, a super fun cupcake place, Lenny's Sub Shop, etc. Clarksdale doesn't seem quite so cute. It does, however, have lots of blues-ey stuff, and Madidi and Ground Zero, which are Morgan Freeman's restaurants, but I don't think its really up my alley. Cleveland, on the other hand, is super adorable and I'm going to love it!

Jessica, is it true you once stepped on Morgan Freeman's foot?

Yes.

Jessica, will you have enough closet space for all your clothes?

Probably not. Which is why I'm having a rummage sale. Its a sad thought, but you can't have everything you want.

Jessica, can we see more pictures of the house you will be renting?

Sure:

The kitchen and breakfast nook. This is where I will have all my Williams-Sonoma cookware and gadgets and I will cook a fabulous dinner every night for my guests and myself.... ha ha ha, I cannot even type that sentence without laughing. This is my kitchen. While I will probably have lots of cute accessories to put in the kitchen, I don't expect to be using this kitchen all that much.

Jessica, will you be taking Parker with you?

That is such an extremely dumb question that you should be ashamed of yourself for asking. Yes, I will be taking Parker with me. She is super excited about this new adventure.

Jessica, what will your bedroom look like?

It won't look exactly like this:

But it will be similar, without all the, you know, masculine accessories.

# 54 I think a change... will do me good

Yesterday I explained my obviously lacking skills in counting. And today is blog # 54. 54 is the year my parents were born-- coincidence or conspiracy? Because today is the day of a big announcement. Now, I've learned my lesson about BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS back in the Fall with mine and Katherine's book list. So, I've purposely not really made much reference to this BIG ANNOUNCEMENT in the past couple weeks, though I've been busy preparing for it. I've now officially told everyone that needs to know and am now announcing it on this blog.

Parker and I are moving.

To the Delta.

With a new job.

I'm terrified.

And super excited.


Yeah, this is a big change. And a big announcement (makes up for the book list fiasco, doesn't it, haters?). I don't think its probably a surprise to anyone who knows me well, knows me a little bit, reads my blog, has met me once or even walked past me on a sidewalk that I've not been super happy here recently. That's no shocker. I've been unhappy with this whole law-practice-on-your-own-thing for a while but only in the last couple months have I admitted it out loud. I've also had a lot of other things going on in my life, and frankly, I've been a bit depressed over everything-- its gotten harder and harder to get back up and get myself happy the way I want to be. I've fallen into a rut-- one of those, "its easier to sit here and watch 12 episodes of NCIS and avoid my problems rather than actually going and doing something about my problems". That's not a good way to be happy, you know?!

Luckily for me, I have a super fantastic network of friends and family who are fully supporting this decision. They helped me look for jobs, wrote me letters of recommendation, listened to me whine about my problems, got me kleenex when I was crying, tried really hard to cheer me up, continued to listen to me whine, built my confidence up, fussed at me when I needed it, and tried not to scream as I cried and whined AGAIN over the same problems I found myself in. Most of them are readers of this blog and I don't think I'll ever be able to thank them fully, nor do I think they will ever know how much I needed them at this point in my life. Perhaps someday, when my emotions are not so fresh and raw, I will, for therapeutic (wow, I totally misspelled that word- wasn't even close) reasons, I will expand on some of my more ridiculous issues I've been having lately, but probably not. I've talked myself to death over these issues.

But one conclusion I've come to is that I need a fresh start. I need a change. I'm terrified of change, and as one person recently put it, "change is very hard for me. I resist and resist until when I finally do make a change, its under the worst possible circumstances." This is really me, which may or may not be surprising to you. I sat around and stayed miserable for a long time, and then I finally paused NCIS, got up off the couch and decided to look for jobs. I found one. Its in Clarksdale, MS (Coahoma County). Its with DHS as a child support attorney. Now, I'm pretty much sick of being an attorney and would love nothing more than to find a non-law related job, but this one seems like a good fit and will be a good change for me from this current job, so I think I will give the law a second chance.

I'm actually going to be living in Cleveland, MS, which is about 30 minutes from Clarksdale. Apparently, everyone in the Delta lives in one place and drives to another place to work, so this is nothing unusual. So, that's the big announcement. Are you excited? Are you going to come visit?